Are Muslims really trust worthy?

[docbyers]

The LARK Program

A female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Guantanamo Bay.  She received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.

We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely efficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property.

This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.

Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job.

You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,
Don Rumsfeld

[Old-Navy]

End the Fear-Mongering: Facts About Muslims


Everyone seems scared of Muslims and terrorists these days. So many people these days when passing a a mosque will wonder if people inside are plotting against the country. On one flight in the UK, people were thrown off just for speaking Arabic. What that means is we have a culture of fear. To combat that, I've compiled this list of facts about Muslims and terrorists to end all the irrational fear people have of their fellow Muslims.

FACTS ABOUT MUSLIMS AND TERRORISTS

FACT: Only 45% of mosques are primarily filled with terrorists.

FACT: Of any Muslim you see on the street, there is only a 30% chance he is currently thinking about killing you.

FACT: Islam means "peace"... or something similar. If any Muslim murders you, then he is going against what his own religion somewhat means.

FACT: While Islam may seem abusive or demeaning to women, 100% of Muslim women love it that way as reported by their husbands (the women were not allowed to speak... and, according to their husbands, they didn't want to either).

FACT: While killing yourself and others for some perverted sex dream involving 72 virgins might seem crazy to us, studies show that people who work towards concrete goals are more successful in life.

FACT: Most Muslim terrorists are secretly gay, anyway, and only act like they want 72 virgin women out of peer pressure.

FACT: If you overhear someone speaking Arabic on a plane, there is a less than 15% chance that person is talking about taking down the aircraft.

FACT: Even if they do take down the aircraft, there was a 0.0001% chance it was about to crash anyway.

FACT: Most terrorism goes against the teachings of Islam since terrorists often use more explosive power that was dictated to be allowable by the prophet Mohammed.

FACT: The prophet Mohammed was a humanitarian who saved nearly as many babies as he killed by the sword.

FACT: It is expressly forbidden by the Koran to beat someone to death with a Koran.

FACT: You are much more likely to be killed at a crosswalk by a careless Jew driving his fancy car than be killed by a Muslim terrorist.

FACT: Joooooos!

FACT: Most Muslims would hate it if all infidels were murdered and rather have infidels simply pay a tax - a "Don't Murder Me" tax.

FACT: The tax for not being murdered by Muslims would most likely be much less than the taxes you pay on gasoline a year.

FACT: Though Muslims do want Jews pushed into the sea, they don't necessarily want them all to drown.

FACT: Muslims are the most likely victims of Muslims murderers. Thus Muslims help eliminate the threat of Muslims.

FACT: Though Muslims do want to take over your country and put it under Islamic law, that doesn't mean they want to kill you.

Now that you have the facts on your side, you have no more reasons to be afraid.

[flew-da-coup]

I had to give you a "Stamp It" for that one.

[docbyers]

There's a joke floating around on the Internet of two Muslim mothers comparing pictures of their deceased children in happier days, the young boys dressed in traditional garb but with a belt of explosives wrapped around their little waists. As they put the pictures away, one mother turns to the other and sighs. "They blow up so fast nowadays," she says as her friend nods her head in agreement.

It's black humor for sure, but it's also a sign of a people, a culture, a practice that Westerners will never understand – all in the name of jihad. As a recent article in the New York Sun describes, some Muslim parents "...are encouraging their children their children to commit suicide as a religious act – then celebrating it."

I'm all for respecting the religious beliefs and values of others, but when a Muslim mother boasts "It's true I sacrificed a son, but others have sacrificed two or three. I hope more of my sons will become martyrs," there's more here that meets the eye than simply keeping up with the Jones.

Go to Google and search the phrase -- child suicide bombers – no quotation marks, and you get 4,560,000 hits! One story after another lays out a practice that can't be called anything less than barbaric. Just last week, it was reported that two of the alleged bombers who were preparing to bring down ten airplanes over the Atlantic were parents who were willing to kill themselves and their baby in the name of Allah.

This phenomenon of religious infanticide goes beyond one nationality. Palestinian youth summer camps are welcoming hundreds of children aged 11 to 15 to be trained in paramilitary camps in the Gaza Strip and West Bank. Suicide bombing is one of the daytime classes. No clay ash tray making here.

In Lebanon, mothers are naming their male children after Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah who has praised parents who offer their children to Allah as "martyrs." Iran is airing animated cartoons for children that promote suicide bombings.

Where are the "moderate" Muslims, the religious leaders or the Council on American-Islamic Relations who turn their backs to this travesty?

[PMEL_DEVIL-DOG]

Here's one for ya:
I learned how to say,"I am Satan" in Arabic. I was walking around the air base the other day telling random UAE Air Force,"Anna Shay-taun(I am Satan)". Some zeros got offended. So what. One ask why was I Satan. I replied that I was a United States Marine...

[flew-da-coup]

Hahaha. That's funny Devil_Dog. You need to carry a pitch fork around and stab them with it.

[cobychuck]

Here's one for ya:
I learned how to say,"I am Satan" in Arabic. I was walking around the air base the other day telling random UAE Air Force,"Anna Shay-taun(I am Satan)". Some zeros got offended. So what. One ask why was I Satan. I replied that I was a United States Marine...

Hail Devil-Dog, hail Devil-Dog...   

[flew-da-coup]

Coby's a Satan worshiper.

[Old-Navy]

Here's one for ya:
I learned how to say,"I am Satan" in Arabic. I was walking around the air base the other day telling random UAE Air Force,"Anna Shay-taun(I am Satan)". Some zeros got offended. So what. One ask why was I Satan. I replied that I was a United States Marine...

SEMPER FI!!!!!!!

[flew-da-coup]

Devil_Dog needs to buy some horns and wear them on his head. This will get those rag heads going.