Calibration Humor - Got Any (CLEAN) Calibration Jokes

Hawaii596 · 02-13-2008 -- 10:03:17

:lol:I hope this is an acceptable posting for this heading. On break fairly regularly with the techs I try to come up with calibration humor. It is tough.

Like, "What do you get when you cross a metrologist with a ___________?"

or, "Why did the metrologist cross the road?" (I don't have an answer)

Things like that. Maybe some of you have some metrology humor???

skolito · 02-13-2008 -- 12:32:40

not any jokes but I did get a torque wrench with a gripe of Fell off tail of 727. The back of the tag said and I quote "Technician Followed"

CalibratorJ · 02-13-2008 -- 12:35:21

Favorite fault description on a DA Form 2407.....

"Does not work in O-F-F position"

And yes, I have ACTUALLY seen a 2407 with that on it

Anything is possible with the 101st.....

USMCPMEL · 02-13-2008 -- 13:20:34

Quote from: Hawaii596 on 02-13-2008 -- 10:03:17
:lol:I hope this is an acceptable posting for this heading. On break fairly regularly with the techs I try to come up with calibration humor. It is tough.

Like, "What do you get when you cross a metrologist with a ___________?"

or, "Why did the metrologist cross the road?" (I don't have an answer)

Things like that. Maybe some of you have some metrology humor???

The answer to the second question is because he got a higher paycheck from the company across the road.

Or it could also be to get to the 5520A But that would only be funny to fellow techs Or maybe not even to them.

CalibratorJ · 02-13-2008 -- 13:35:36

PRICELESS

"The answer to the second question is because he got a higher paycheck from the company across the road."

skolito · 02-13-2008 -- 13:44:00

Quote from: CalibratorJ on 02-13-2008 -- 12:35:21
Favorite fault description on a DA Form 2407.....

"Does not work in O-F-F position"

And yes, I have ACTUALLY seen a 2407 with that on it Anything is possible with the 101st.....

Ive seen this one Transmitter does not Receive.

skolito · 02-13-2008 -- 13:44:55

Of course you could ask USMCPMEL about the TTU-205 screaming down the runway

CalibratorJ · 02-13-2008 -- 13:59:35

Quote from: skolito on 02-13-2008 -- 13:44:00
Quote from: CalibratorJ on 02-13-2008 -- 12:35:21
Favorite fault description on a DA Form 2407.....

"Does not work in O-F-F position"

And yes, I have ACTUALLY seen a 2407 with that on it Anything is possible with the 101st.....

Ive seen this one Transmitter does not Receive.

Please tell me you're joking.....

And what's a TTU 205? *EDIT* Nevermind- shoulda googled it earlier... a pitot screaming down the runway..... was the tech attached to it??!!

skolito · 02-13-2008 -- 14:07:33

No but an EA6B was

Bryan · 02-13-2008 -- 15:24:24

One that needs to be told in person because it's part visual.

Why do females make poor calibrators?

Because all of their lives they have had men telling them this is 6 inches (while holding thumb & index finger and inch or two apart)

docbyers · 02-13-2008 -- 16:58:04

A group of managers were asked to measure the height of a flagpole. They fetched a ladder and tape measure and headed to the flagpole to perform their task. They weren't having much luck because they kept dropping the tape measure and falling off the ladder.

Observing what they were attempting to do, a metrologist approached them and offered to help. He pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down flat, measured it from one end to the other, gave the measurements to one of the managers and walked away.

After the metrologist had gone, one of the managers turned to the others and said, "Well, isn't that just like a metrologist? We're looking for the height of the flagpole and he tells us the length."

flew-da-coup · 02-13-2008 -- 20:59:01

Let me take a whack at it:

Question: What is the sum of 2 + 2?

An accountant will say "What do you want the answer to be?"

A mathematician will say "I believe it is 4, but I will have to prove it."

A statistician will say "The population is too small to give an accurate answer, but on the basis of the data supplied the answer lies between 3 and 5."

An economist will say "Based on today's thinking, the answer is 4 but the answer may be different tomorrow".

A Metrologist will say "The answer is 4, but after calculating the total uncertainty we will call it 5".

LOL, "He got a higher pay check across the road". The jokes are always funnier when the truth is mixed in.

As for the 5520A, I got that one too. LOL

Broken_Wings · 02-14-2008 -- 10:34:38

Seen on an AFTO 350 today: Fuse blown needs replacement.
This was on a TVC.

While having a discussion somebody nearby mentioned and showed me a copy of an AFTO 350 from about two years ago: Noisy Output
This was for a noise source. The technician replied along the lines of 'operating within normal parameters'.

skolito · 02-14-2008 -- 10:51:48

Speaking of cleaning. I just discovered I have a Desk Top with all the paperwork I couldn't see it

USMCPMEL · 02-14-2008 -- 16:01:25

Ya thats almost as good as the "bomb rack test set" that came in saying the power switch was broken. A little bit of background on this particular unit the power switch has a built in circuit breaker. I order a new one. When It came in I went to replace it and upon opening the unit there was a very pungent odor. I also noticed a white discoloration on the boards and there was water in it. Upon further investigation i learned from a "friend" that it had gone overboard during unloading from a ship!!! I guess they thought water would not hurt electronics?? Anyways to make a long story short I doused it with Dawn dish detergent and rinsed it with a TON of fresh hot water then I sprayed it out with high pressure air. I then proceded to rig the ac unit in the van to produce lots of heat and left it in a 120 + degree van for a week. I replaced the circuit breaker and powered her up she passed cal saved the US government about 75 grand my shop boss told me to scrap it!