Laboratory Policies

[Hoopty]

No apology necessary OlDave.  It wasn't that it cut deep.  In fact, I truly hadn't ever thought that much about the term "metrologist" and all that is required of one.  Which would put your post spot-on for me as an AF calibrator. 

I now understand that all this time I've used the term metrologist loosely when it didn't exactly pertain to me.  Like Freezer, I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not.  So, I'm going to give up all that comes with that title (all the women and prestige) for now and continue to hone my skills until someday I can rightfully claim my reward!    Hoopty to wife:  It's an inside joke honey, I swear!  Read some of the other threads...

Anyway, I guess I was just frustrated because the point of my post really didn't have anything to do with being a "metrologist" per se.  It was more like "Hey, we all basically do the same thing here, but do things a little differently for different reasons"

Sorry if it seemed like I was lashing out.  I wasn't.  It's all good.

[docbyers]

Sing with us now, you know the music...

Proud To Be A Metrologist

If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
I'd thank my lucky stars to be a PMEL technician,
'Cause there's things that need calibrating and they can't take that away.

And I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

From the frozen plains of Minot, to the hills of Tennessee,
across the hills of Georgia, from sea to shining sea,
From Seattle down to Houston and New York to LA,
Well, there's a lab in every American city,
and it's time to stand and say:

And I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

[Freezer]

BWWWWHHHHHAAAA!!!!ROFL

Way to go Doc!

You must have a lot of free time out there.

[docbyers]

No, not that much, really.
BUT, you dangled the Lee Greenwood thing out there like a worm on a hook, and I just couldn't resist...
I will admit that 5 minutes of lyric-tweaking did NOT produce my best work.  I'll toy with it when I do have some time and see if I can improve it any...

[MIRCS]

Here is what  NCSL and ASQ/MQD are giving for the metrology world as the job  descriptions.

Submit job descriptions for the 2005 SOC for the following job titles reflecting compiled
input from the U.S. Metrology / Calibration Industry:
• Calibration Technician
• Calibration Engineer
• Metrologist

I can say I know where I would fall in that list.

Yes I have to worry about uncertanities and such......guard banding SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alot of these issues I used to argue day in and day out with Kevin John at AFMETCAL. The whole way that dimensional accuracies are given..........worst case, newly trained...etc. I could prove to him over and over again how I would be able to calibrate items in a 72F enviroment to the accuracies given for 68F........he would agree, then always say.................."That is you and you are right, yet can you gaurantee me that every other person doing this cal in all the other labs can do it???" That used to sting and hurt, cause he was correct. Unlike many in the AF, I have had alot of Phys-D training due to my job in the Navy as do some others on this board.......actually it was what we did.....the amount of dimensional work we did would astound some of you AF types. I digress........the people I worked for in the Navy encouraged us to do the things that Ol Dave was speaking of......some did some didn't. I know it has helped me tremendously in my current job.....BTW the FDA can suc...nevermind.

To me we are all metrologist here at this website..........I work with some cal techs though

[docbyers]

Ditto for the FDA...!!

[OlDave]

Yeah, I remember having a few very similiar conversations with Kevin myself MIRCS.

I also remember a rather humorous (and frustrating) conversation with an AFMETCAL auditor, it went something to the effect of. "Well I don't understand what you're doing so it must be wrong." And this was while following a NIST SOP word for word.... But I'm quite sure he didn't understand it at all! But I don't think I'ld have the gonads to tell NIST they were wrong just because I didn't understand them. And on the other hand, I guess I was wrong for actually calibrating a weight set instead of just tolerance checking it. Silly me.

[Freezer]

Sorry Flynn,

Made ya smile though, right?   It's all worth it and life is good.  Just depends on how you look at it!

I went from an underpaid metrologist to an overpaid calibrator overnight.  Think I'll go out and buy a new truck! 

Truthfully, I have no idea about the size of ANY of InLikeFlynns appendages, nose or otherwise. 

Probably the stuff of legend...

[docbyers]

Speaking of appendages, while I was at Ramstein there was a young man who may, or may not, have been playing with one of his, when his roommate in the squadron dormitory walked in to the room unexpectedly.  Said appendage player quickly rolled over on his bed to avoid an embarrassing display, and "broke" his appendage.  Yep.  Hospital time and all!

I was not a witness to this event, so I am only relaying the story as it was given to me, and begrudgingly confirmed by the victim of this tragedy...  This guy's girlfriend was a USAF nurse, and no, I don't know if he met her before or after this incident!

You can imagine his nickname for the remainder of his time with us...!

(Flynn, ask Chuck about this story; he'll verify!)

[Thraxas]

Ouch!

[NRA4Life]

Not good.  More to come later.  The only hope is that a new contractor gets the bid when the contract expires this year.

[docbyers]

Not a bad idea.  The USAF could bit out ALL the contract labs, awarding a multi-year contract to one vendor.  Of course, performance clauses would entail, but if the contractor has a decent crew, performance wouldn't be an issue, would it?  It would be handy if the company had a global reach, like a Schlumberger or General Dynamics, for example.  Overseas techs would get a base pay plus a COLA based on where they're at (England, Germany, Italy, wherever).  Deployed to a war zone?  Hazardous duty pay.  Health insurance could pay a fair price for military medical facilities, usually available near every base in the world.

How much money would the government save in admin costs alone?!?  Manage 30 contracts, or just 1?  Which is easier, more cost-effective, and efficient?  Monthly labor, overhead, and parts totals would be gathered and lumped together for a monthly invoice, and again, you have 1 check instead of 30 to pay the bill...  In the real world we call it "economy of scale."

[Thraxas]

As long as they don't make my "lab" contract, I'll be happy.

[docbyers]

I've taken the time to add a few verses...

Proud To Be A Metrologist

If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
I'd thank my lucky stars to be a PMEL technician,
'Cause there's things that need calibrating and they can't take that away.

And I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

From the frozen plains of Minot, to the hills of Tennessee,
across the hills of Georgia, from sea to shining sea,
From Seattle down to Houston and New York to LA,
Well, there's a lab in every American city,
and it's time to stand and say:

That I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

From gas pumps to o'scopes to thermohumidographs
Every time I'm asked for a weather forecast I have to stop and laugh
'Cause no one in America has a clue 'bout what I do
But when your grapes weigh twenty pounds at Kroger, you'll understand it too.

That I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

Standard cells, multimeters, torque wrenches
We see them all come across our benches
We calibrate with precision, we certify with traceability
We never get paid what we're worth; they think we work for free

But I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

Army, Air Force, Navy, or Marines
All our labs are super pristine
When it comes to intelligence you won't beat us to the punch
In any branch of service, we're the brightest of the bunch

And I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this lab God bless the PMEL way.

Some of us retired, some of us have died,
Our last K-stamp at last has been applied
When we get to heaven, one question if you please
Can we have the thermostat set to seventy-two degrees?

And I'm proud to be a metrologist where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, from electricity.
And I'd gladly sit down next to you and take a coffee break.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I loved this life God bless the PMEL way.

[flew-da-coup]

That brought tears to my eyes.