History lesson....

[PMEL_DEVIL-DOG]

Early humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
& would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster (and oysters)
in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

Liberals and conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting
for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.


Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q
at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women.
The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of
democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the
largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime
added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw
fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are
standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
police officers, corporate executives, athletes, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives, who own companies, hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

Liberals crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business
of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that
it will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."

[cobychuck]

Reduced to such simple terms...such a accurate description of those jackasses. (hey, they chose the damn thing for their party, let them suffer for it)