You know, for the short time I have been dorm manager I've seen an incredible amount of stupidity. Babysitting someone's dog when you're not supposed to have anything other than fish, keeping a 12" dagger on the wall, leaving empty beer cans all over the middle of the floor, getting in a fight while drinking underage (and with a concealed weapon), constantly being late for bay orderly after ample warning not to be, etc.
Now, I'm sure most of you have stories of airmen whether in or out of PMEL that will make you shake your head, roll on the floor, or whatever. If you'd like to share, I would sure as hell be interested to hear about it.
:-D
Well at one point while standing BDO (Barracks Duty Officer)
I had just taken over the watch at 0700 when I got a call from another barracks that a guy was urinating on the quarter deck floor.
At this point I went over to the other barracks where this kid, underage of course was 3 sheets to the wind at 7 in the morning. He had politely relieved himself on the carpet in a room just off the quarterdeck. Thinking it was a bathroom, I approached him and asked him why....... he replied that he did not do it.......LOL I politely told him that I would treat him like a puppy and beat his backside with a newspaper while rubbing his nose in it. Now this brought the chuckles of the guys there standing watch. I ordered him to go to his room and sleep it off. He said that he wanted to go outside and have a smoke. When I told him no that he was going to bed he called me every name in the book. I was such a bastard for not letting him smoke. Well he finally went to his room. I told the watches to let me know if he came out.
About 20 minutes later the watches called me and told me he had walked outside and gotten in his car and was leaving. Almost running over a watch trying to get his plate number. I called the base police and let them know what had happened and they said that they had already picked him up.........going the wrong way down a one way street......IN FRONT OF BASE SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well finally this kid went to Captains Mast for the offense. The Captain asked where the kid thought he was going. He told the Captain that he was going to his grandmothers house in Oklahoma because he was scared. Telling the Captain that I was going UA, AWOL whatever you want to call it.
All the kid got out of the deal was Suspended bust to E-2, Suspended loss of 1/2 month pay X2 and he had to write a 1000 word essay on the effects of underage drinking.......... Got off real lite, I think.
While at Lowry between classes, I pulled a few weeks of CQ duty (Charge of Quarters), where basically you sit at the front desk of the squadron dormitory and answer the phone.
Gail Kalbfleisch, a green rope (flight leader) was looking for Jim Chamberlain (currently a highly respected MSgt at McGuire AFB). Being female, she asked me to accompany her to his room on the off-chance that he may have overslept and maybe forgot his pj's...
After a few minutes of pounding on the door, it swings wide open, courtesy of Jim, who was, naturally, without his usual military attire, or anything else for that matter...
Gail, appropriately blushing, inquired as to Jim's willingness to join them for the morning march to the school house. Jim, always a gentleman, answered in the affirmative, apologizing profusely for his tardiness, and would she give him 5 minutes to regain his compliance with AFR 35-10...
Jim and I met up again at Ramstein, and had a good laugh over this story...
Wow doc. That's the second name you've dropped that I recognize. I can imagine Chamberlain doing something like that. :lol:
One thing that always gets me is how the dorm residents will trash the s*** out of their own dorm, leaving ToGo containers, beer bottles, food, and other trash all over. Then to top that off, the other people that live there don't say anything about it, either to the people that are doing it or to myself. If someone started throwing trash in my yard, I'd kick their ass. These people just don't seem to get that this is home for them and they have to take care of it.
I'll have better stories later. After all, I'm watching a bunch of new kids. Someone will do something soon enough! 8-)
Okay, my dorm has a quarterly inspection coming up here on Friday the 19th. I've sent out an e-mail, posted signs, and the shirts have gotten the word out further still. First comes the supervisor inspection, then the shirt comes through, and finally the command chiefs. Still, there are always the airmen that can't seem to read and their room isn't ready to go. I've had a few unhappy supervisors come through here. Why the hell is it so hard for some of these people to get it?
Momma is not there to do it for them. See, the answer is easy.
Most of them are away from home for the first time in the lives and think they can do anything they want. Same thing happens with college kids, but they get to mostly miss out on the a$$ chewings.
Hey, things can't be that bad. You have cable television in your office. :-D
Yeah, I do. They made the History channel and the Sci-Fi channel digital though, so I can't watch them anymore. Got to get another box from the company. Still, I do have the Discovery channel!
:-D
Ah, you young kids... I used to use the tuner on my Betamax to get AFN when I was at Ramstein. Thankfully I had a Laserdisc player, and the guys would gather in my room on the weekends to watch Top Gun, in STEREO! Pretty cool, though, when the planes took off from the carrier and the speakers were cranked up!
I may be dating myself just a bit here...
I remember my dad having a remote control for our old B/W tv. I also remember the same remote for our first color tv. It was always......boy go turn the tv to channel 7, and adjust the antenna while you are at it so we get a good signal.
No need for fancy electronics when you have offspring. :-D
Offspring are great when you are to lazy to get up to get the remote. "Boy, hand me that remote."
"Boy, make me an omelette!"
Boy, get out there and cut the grass and I don't want to hear about "I am only 2 years old." :x
Boy, get up ther and prune those branches, and I don't want to hear about no "deadly power lines." :x
Boy, get up there and finish roofing the house! :x
Boy! Trim my toenails! :x
Boy, come wipe me! :x
Dear God, what have I done?
What? You don't wipe? :?
Boy, turn off the sun and I don't want to hear, "Your hungover, Dad." :x
Boy oh boy are you in for an a$$ whoppin
Boy, go kill that rattle snake in the yard. Yes, you can use your Tickle Me Elmo.
Boy, go clean out the basement, but don't throw away your mother's "accessories."
Boy, clean my guns. :x
Boy I need a beer.
Boy, trim my armpits...
Boy, bring me my Q-tips, and don't go bringin' the pink box instead of the blue one! :x
OH piss boy, you tip is in the bottom of the pail.
Here Boy, take the wheel. I had too much to drink. Being five is not an excuse not to drive! :|
Boy, get up on the roof and fix the satellite dish. Don't go giving me no "Dad, there's a thunder storm outside." :x
What? No more dumb airmen stories, Chuck? :?
Here are two for you Thraxas: Bob Skinn... & Dave Rober.... Now that's the 2 dumbest airmen ever.
You're a little obsessed with your former coworkers.
They made life enemies. I know how much you love Dave. Hehehe. You guys always got along. I know you enjoyed him going to the lead and project manager telling them you suck. You should thank him. NOT. You know how those two are.
Okay, I do have one from a while back when I was still an airman. I was at a training class at the MPF on Holloman AFB when the building had to be evacuated for a bomb threat. Now I was at this class with a female coworker who was pregnant. As we were standing across the street watching them try to navigate their robot through the door, one of the bomb squad gave a description of the "bomb", after which my coworker turned white. She had left her breast pump box in the women's bathroom and someone had called it in. We never let her live that one down.
I hope she knew she didn't need the breast pump until AFTER her pregnancy was over...!
(They don't fill the milk tanks for delivery until after the customer is ready to receive the 1st shipment...)
Winter at Ramstein AB, Germany... Some flight line person had left a 5-gallon pail of red hydraulic fluid on the flight line. Civil Engineering is out after a snowstorm plowing the runways and taxiways. Sure enough- WHAM! The plow operator sees this huge red spray of liquid come off his plow, and he thinks "MY GOD!! I JUST HIT SOMEONE!!"
Now there are ambulances, security police, civil engineering, the DCM, the base commander, and a chaplain all scrurrying around the runway looking for Airman Out-a-luck, supposedly having been creamed by the plow... They found a very mangled hydraulic fluid pail a little while later, much to everyone's relief...
Quote from: cobychuck on 06-08-2006 -- 09:32:47
Okay, I do have one from a while back when I was still an airman. I was at a training class at the MPF on Holloman AFB when the building had to be evacuated for a bomb threat. Now I was at this class with a female coworker who was pregnant. As we were standing across the street watching them try to navigate their robot through the door, one of the bomb squad gave a description of the "bomb", after which my coworker turned white. She had left her breast pump box in the women's bathroom and someone had called it in. We never let her live that one down.
Just out of curiosity...this wouldn't happen to be the same coworker that zapped herself with a 5700?
Breast pumps are freaky.
Quote from: Thraxas on 06-08-2006 -- 15:31:23
Quote from: cobychuck on 06-08-2006 -- 09:32:47
Okay, I do have one from a while back when I was still an airman. I was at a training class at the MPF on Holloman AFB when the building had to be evacuated for a bomb threat. Now I was at this class with a female coworker who was pregnant. As we were standing across the street watching them try to navigate their robot through the door, one of the bomb squad gave a description of the "bomb", after which my coworker turned white. She had left her breast pump box in the women's bathroom and someone had called it in. We never let her live that one down.
Just out of curiosity...this wouldn't happen to be the same coworker that zapped herself with a 5700?
Why yes, Thraxas, it would be. Something like 100V@1kHz or something around there. She dropped it across her hand and it probably scared her more than hurt her.
Heh, heh. I suspected as much. :-D
Were you there when it happened or did you hear about it later? Which begs the question either way...who are you?
Okay, these airmen aren't providing me with material for this string. I guess it's just a dry spell for stories. I know there will be more to tell.
Thraxas, I'm waiting on an answer. (The suspense is killing me!) :?
Bob & Dave. anuf said.
Quote from: flew-da-coup on 06-14-2006 -- 15:46:05
Bob & Dave. anuf said.
They're not airmen.
Quote from: cobychuck on 06-14-2006 -- 10:00:41
Thraxas, I'm waiting on an answer. (The suspense is killing me!) :?
Yes. I was there when it happened.
Okay, that wasn't the question I was looking for the answer to. I was hoping for the one immediately following that one. Or are you gonna make me guess? Okay, fine.
Bob Cahill? :?
Here's one that I just got over e-mail. Apparently there was a police report filed on the 17th of June because a verbal altercation here in my dorm. From the scetchy details that were included in the report I received, someone called another airman a "N****r" because he threw ice. According to the report Subject 1 and Subject 2 could not be found and no seems to recall who those two were. Now is that frickin' retarded or what?
Quote from: cobychuck on 06-19-2006 -- 15:07:21
According to the report Subject 1 and Subject 2 could not be found and no seems to recall who those two were. Now is that frickin' retarded or what?
That's not too unusual. Sometimes a-holes will visit their friends in other dorms.
Didn't think about that. Damn these airmen! Oh well, I don't have to fix anything for this one, so it's not too horrible I guess other than some hurt egos.
We've recently had new door handles/locks put on my dorm. This new system uses a key that looks like an oversized dog tag which had magnets in it. Now, the whole reason behind getting these new locks was because they are self-locking. Once you close the door, it's locked. This is a problem. Come to find out, a lot of airmen never locked their doors with the old keys. So I know I'm going to be getting calls at ungodly hours because someone locked themselves out. Fortunately for me, there are couches in the dayroom. I hope they don't think I'm going to rush down here for that, because I sure as hell won't be in any hurry. I'm sure there will be some interesting stories to come from all of this, but I don't have any right now. All I need to do is give them time...
:-)
When I was at Lowry in '92, I was on the top floor. The ceiling tiles were removable, so great place to store your alcohol. Anyway, our rope hadn't pushed his back far enough, so during an inspection, one of the training NCO's pushed on a tile and was bombarded with 8-10 empty Jim Beam bottles.
Okay, I just got this one from the housing manager here at Nellis for quarterly dorm inspections. The chief that he was walking around with decided to inspect a room that music was blaring from. Upon opening the door (now these peticular rooms have a central common area) to find one of the residents passed out on the table with the stereo going full tilit. The housing manager turned down the radio and yelled at the airman to get up. Nothing. He didn't even twitch. The chief then proceeds to pound his fist very hard on the table, finally having to yell into the airman's ear to get him to move. The conversation went something like this:
"What...what's going on?"
"This is a room inspection! What are you doing?"
"I'm drinking."
"Where's your room?"
"It's over there." (points at his room)
"Stand up airman. Where's your ID?"
"I don't have my ID." (at this point, the airman spills his beer all over the table)
"Airman, sit down before you hurt yourself"
He sits down and immediately passes out again, facefirst in the beer he just spilled. The chief decided it would be a good idea to call the shirt on this one.
Damn.......just DAMN
You like that one, eh? Our housing manager had a hard time keeping from busting out laughing in front of the chief.
:lol:
I knew a guy in the Navy that drank so much that he was restricted to the barracks. He was able to get out and he drank so much that he had a B.A.C. of 0.52. He should have been dead. He was hospitalized and was discharged after he was released from the hospital. He told me that was he plan the whole time.
Okay, here's one for you from yours truly. I had returned from walking our dogs last Tuesday and was letting them out if the car. Now our Doberman likes to ride in the car...a lot. She tried to jump back in the car and I tried to stop by slamming the door shut...on my right index finger. Well, I ended up breaking the bone almost right at the joint and tore the skin from the right side of my fingernail to about 3/4s of the way around my finger. I had to go into surgery for the finger and they put a pin through the first joint which has to stay in for four weeks. So watch your fingers.
:-P
Here's a situation we're having right now that could just go south all of a sudden. The dorm I manage has had some real trouble with trash, mostly cigarette butts. For starters, this dorm could be made no smoking. Which means they would have to go out away from the dorm to smoke. Plus, if the trash situation doesn't improve, they'll be here on Saturday starting with an inspection in their blues and followed by a generous GI party. Somehow I can see them screwing this up.
Well here's what will happen. Some schmuk will not care about the trash and everyone will end up having the party on a Sat. The original schmuk will not care because he will have to work and wont get to enjoy the party anyways.
Or said schmuk will be one of the first ones to bitch and complain because of the inspection and party.
Either way, there will be a Sat. party.
Become a Barracks Nazi. Outlaw everything until they comply. When I was in the Navy we had a Barracks Nazi and we had the nicest barracks on the base.
When I was at F.E. Warren AFB we had a competition, and the nicest dorm got some kind of reward. At the squadron level, the Room of the Month guy/gal got a 3-day pass if your room won. I can't remember what Squadron Dormitory of the Month got, but I remember squadron-sponsored barbeques and picnics, so that must have been it.
Put your boys on the incentive plan, because people usually work better with a reward system in place. The reward may be as simple as NOT having a GI party on Saturday, but ya gotta have some kind of carrot to dangle in front of them...
Humiliation works great too. Make the ones who live like pigs be a pig. During the GI party make them wear pig noses and have signs around their necks with statements like " I'm a Pig " and " Oink Oink ". Or did the military go wussy on us and won't let us do that kind of stuff anymore?
It might be part of the "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy. You have to be sensitive to the pigs' feelings...
I get it now.
I think they would call it something like "unnecessary humiliation" or something similar. I think it's a great idea. It would make one hell of a point but then some wuss would get his feelings hurt and bring a gun back to the dorms. I think I should be armed. Gotta protect myself from those kind of people.
I thought the military had a policy of humiliation of the enlisted. At least it was like that when most of us were in. I guess it's a New Kinder Military. :?
Quote from: flew-da-coup on 08-03-2006 -- 05:09:37
I thought the military had a policy of humiliation of the enlisted. At least it was like that when most of us were in. I guess it's a New Kinder Military. :?
Yeah, you must have missed the time-out cards they were handing out in basic..... :lol:
Do they use those in Iraq? " Time Out I'm getting tired"
Whoa, say what? Time out cards? Please tell me this is a joke. Granted, when I went through it was on its way to a "kinder, gentler, Air Force" but that's just stupid. So it's a joke...right?
Coup we were the last traing company at Orlando to carry rifles and wear leggings. :|
I have been thru Lackland AFB recruit training and Club Orlando Naval recruit training.
I have been priviledged enough to go thru 2 boot camps.
I went to Great Mistakes in 4/76
Quote from: MIRCS on 08-03-2006 -- 16:43:16
Coup we were the last traing company at Orlando to carry rifles and wear leggings. :|
I heard they have stopped wearing leggings. I never carried the lead filled M14. I was in a 900 company ( Flag Corp. )
Well, somehow the dorm residents managed to pull together and clean up their act. I'll bet anything it'll go to s**t this weekend and they'll be out here for the next weekend. However, there was one spot in the grass that I had to point out to the shirt. During this last week of picking up cigarette butts, there was a decent sized spot in the grass that was absolutely crowded with butts. As the shirt and I are walking around he points out that on the third floor there is a butt can on the third floor directly over that spot, in front of the rooms for a couple Recon airmen. The third floor is important because that's the only floor they could have been on to get them as far into the grass as they were. So now I get to have some fun with those two airmen.
:evil:
make them eat the butts. That'll teach'em. :evil:
When I went to Calibration school in North Island CA. We were doing field day. I was cleaning the female head (no jokes....) and opened the little metal box in the stall. Inside was a pad. I went out and told one of the females that she had to go in and empty the box. She looked at me and said "Why do I have to do it?" Well my come back was "you are not a smoker, do you feel you should have to pick up cigarette butts?" She quickly responded "NO" to which I said "Well I dont use those and dont feel I should have to pick them up." Nothing more was said, she went and emptied out the box.
Make them eat the pads. :evil:
With ketchup on them
Gross :-P
Kinda makes you hungrey?
:-P :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P
I swear, nothing is ever going to get done here in the dorms. We had a meeting yesterday about what to do with our pool room since we are getting rid of two pool tables and putting ina brand new one. Now, the shirt wanted to turn it into a theatre room with an overhead projector. Not a bad idea, but after some discussion in the meeting it was determined that doing that would be more a pain because the pool room is the main hang out during any party. It was also fairly recently redecorated by the residents. Now the reason I say nothing is ever going to get done is this: airmen talk a lot here, but nothing seems to come of it. It will be interesting to see how many volunteers we get to help with this project.
Also, I have a question and I'd like to see what you think:
The Furniture Management Office has ordered some LCD flatscreen TVs for the dorms. They are in the neighborhood of 70". How long do you think it will be before they are vandalized/stolen? (Theoretical question, they may end up being perfectly fine...I hope)
I remember a time in the past when a dorm TV was relocated to a resident's room, nicely installed in a locking entertainment armoire so the TV couldn't be seen during room inspection. Of course, the idiot was found out in short order, and no longer worked for the USAF after that. Rumor had it that he spent some time at "Pebble Beach East" (Leavenworth), making small rocks out of big ones... All rumor of course...
One butt buffet coming up! Apparently the threat of working Saturday means nothing to these losers. People are still throwing cigarette butts on the ground. I can't wait to hear them complain when they get stuck out there. Muahahahahahahahaha! :evil:
So, if I'm a dorm resident, and I throw my cigarette butts in a butt can or ashtray, I don't have to clean them up on Saturday? I can sleep in? Who'd wanna do that?!? No! I want to get up at 0500 and spend a rainy Saturday morning picking up cigarette butts! That case of beer I drink on Friday night be damned! It's so much more fun to pick up butts with a hangover! ...and they'd better not forget room inspections while I'm out cleaning up the trash, and uniform inspections after that! THEN I want a GI party to strip and wax all the floors, vacuum the carpets and scrub out the garbage cans! Then my weekend will be complete... :-)
So thats whats going through their minds! That really helps Doc. I guess I just hadn't looked at it that way before... 8-)
Well, I really don't have any new stories. I know I will sooner or later, but it's been slow for dumb airmen lately. We do have a dorm party on Friday that could produce a couple items of interest. We'll see.