PMEL Forum

Anyone got any funny ones that you have heard?  Here is mine, it is funny now anyway.  When my daughter was much younger, she had to tell her class what kind of work daddy did.  She told them metrology and of course the teacher, being so much smarter than her students, promtly corrected her.  My daughter started arguing with her and got send to the principals office.   I had to go to the school and "correct" the teacher.  She probably still believes I do weather, lol.

I got the mental image of a little girl telling her teacher that she didn't know any better. :lol:

Wow. This topic has been read 39 times, and nobody has a funny story or even a reply. I'd hate to think everyone's career has been as horror filled as mine. :cry:

I was new at Ramstein in '85, and was working on a test set (who's name escapes me at the moment) that had a 480V, 3 ph, 50A per phase power supply.  There was a board inside the unit with 3 posts sticking up (1 for each phase) and a ground around it.  It's 2nd shift, late at night, and I'm trying to get my really long alligator clips up inside this "boat anchor" to test the power supply.  You guessed it- I accidentally shorted one phase to the ground, and blew the 480V breaker for the lab.  Now, since the 220V and 110V power came off transformers fed by the 480V supply, the entire lab went dark after a blinding flash eminated from the test set...  TSgt Wayne Grantham, the K1 Supervisor at the time, named me "Sparky" after that...  Thankfully that name didn't stick very long, and I redeemed myself as the guy who could bring Fluke 5100B-03's back to life when they were dead...  I wasn't always as successful with 829Gs!

I was stationed aboard the USS WASP back in 2000. I was cal'ing some AFCS testset or something (can't remember which one) but anyway, it called for a ST-248 isotransformer. Well I hooked it up as per the cal procedure thru a M1011A and varaic. Once I had everything hooked up, I had to go "drop da Browns off at the pool" if ya know what I mean. Instead of securing the pwr source, I thought that it won't take long for me to get back on the bench. I felt the ST-248 and notice that it was getting a lil warm. But I'll be alright, right? Wrong...I got back in the shop and my bossman, AT1 Bernard, said I had a lil mess to clean up. As I turn the corner the WHOLE bench was covered in this yellow, waxy, stuff just spewing from the ST-248. Never figured out why it took a crap on me.... :mrgreen:

Troy Faust and I were TDY in Zweibrucken running a TFCU, and Zweibrucken AB started "war games."  Our TDY orders specifically stated that the TFCU team did NOT play war with the base, so no chem gear for us...  Problem was, they simulated "blowing up" the building our TFCU was set up in.  Now, when they "blow up" a building, civil engineering comes in and cuts the power.  So all of my standards that were on and warming up, plus a goodly stack of counters that were going through their warm-up cycle were all dead.  Whereupon I informed a full-bird DCM that we were going to pack up our gear and head back to Ramstein.  No power, no work.  He 'bout blew a gasket.  I asked him to please call Chief Meier at Ramstein.  He did.  1/2 an hour later, I had power on again...

Funny thing- when they turned on the power, the surge apparently blew some fuses that were in a power bus duct in the ceiling.  So now there's a 3-meter step ladder with a captain on it changing the fuses, while, on the floor, stood 2 SMSgts and a Chief from CE.  I'm standing next to them, watching the officer on the ladder doing the work, and I leaned over to the chief and whispered to him, "How do you get the officer up there to do the work?"  He leaned back, smiled, and said "Training, my boy- training..."

I'm standing outside the entrance to Scheduling at Ramstein having a smoke, when the guy from the Egyptian Air Force pulled up with his bi-monthly load of equipment fresh from the desert.  (Once you cleaned the sand out of them, they calibrated just fine.)  He unloads the gear, the schedulers start processing the paperwork, and he steps back outside and offers me one of his smokes.

I don't know what they use for tobacco in Egypt, but my face was the same color as my fatigues!  All the while he's smiling and thanking me for supporting his air force...  I'm wondering what area of the concrete will be the easiest to clean up after I lose my lunch...

Being the least physical and most wimpy branch of the armed forces, most of you know that in the Air Force they tested our physical attributes once a year by making us run 1.5 miles in 14:30, or walk it in, like, 20 minutes or so.  At Ramstein it was common that the entire lab ran it on the same day.  It was also common that we would arrive at the track, take our seats in the bleachers, and watch Chief Maier run his route in less that 14:30.

Now, the Chief was 50-something, had a heart condition, and wore his blues and chlorofram shoes when he ran.  He was born in Czechoslovakia, a naturalized American citizen, and had been in the Air Force longer than I'd been alive.  A great boss, and a wonderful man to have your back in a crisis.  Not an individual you would purposely make mad at you...  The volume of a Maier tirade could be heard way in the back of our "soundproof" lab.

Needless to say, after we watched the Chief run the route all by himself, in his blues, in under 14:30, NOBODY failed the physical evaluation!  Another case of leadership by example...

I should say I'm surprised he ran the route in less than 14:30, but I'm amazed he didn't sprain his ankles wearing those shoes. :|

Quote from: docbyers on 12-16-2005 -- 10:56:34
Being the least physical and most wimpy branch of the armed forces, most of you know that in the Air Force they tested our physical attributes once a year by making us run 1.5 miles in 14:30, or walk it in, like, 20 minutes or so.  At Ramstein it was common that the entire lab ran it on the same day.  It was also common that we would arrive at the track, take our seats in the bleachers, and watch Chief Maier run his route in less that 14:30.

Now, the Chief was 50-something, had a heart condition, and wore his blues and chlorofram shoes when he ran.  He was born in Czechoslovakia, a naturalized American citizen, and had been in the Air Force longer than I'd been alive.  A great boss, and a wonderful man to have your back in a crisis.  Not an individual you would purposely make mad at you...  The volume of a Maier tirade could be heard way in the back of our "soundproof" lab.

Needless to say, after we watched the Chief run the route all by himself, in his blues, in under 14:30, NOBODY failed the physical evaluation!  Another case of leadership by example...

Hey Doc, I'd wish we'd only have to run a mile and a half! :evil: :mrgreen:

I had a roomate in '71 that did it in 7:39 in faitgues with chucca boots on...
Passed the rest of us up in a lap and a half...

:-D Grissom AFB PMEL, Circa 1988 :-o

most everyone, od timers anyway, has probably played around with the radiac battery that has about 150 volts in cells.  It was about a yearly gag to jumper all these cells together,  wrap this 150 volts to one side with lead tape and wrlap the low side to the other half of the battery with lead tape.  With about a 1/8" seam between the polarities, you could leave a sign saying "do not touch" and of course people would go to pick it up.  The resulting "OWW" was a good source of amusement for several days.  When the zapped person asked the PMEL guy to touch it, he would grab the LONG side that had one polarity and state - I don't feel a thing.

Anyway, I decided to add to the gag.  I wired one side of the battery to the ground on our snack bar 'fridge and the other side to the corner of the snack bar.  This corner was the perfect position for people to lean into the fridge to check what we had.  No notice was paid to the fact that the snack bar now had lead tape on the corner since it was 3/4 wrapped with duct tape anyway.  The funniest Zap happened to the Avionics NCOIC when he touched the refrigerator and YANKED his hand back.  He looked around to see who saw, THEN TRIED AGAIN!  Zap!  Looks around again, and SLOWLY touches AGAIN - ZAP!  He sees me smirking and states that we must have a bad ground on the case of the refrigerator.  I come over and, without touching the snack bar edge, and say it seems okay.  He tries again but touches the 'fridge first and then the snack bar - ZAP.  he then walks out saying he is not thirsty anyway.

Just remembered one of my first gags in the PMEL

Ramstein AB, circa 1983.

Chief Koch made it a weekly ritual to inspect the lab every Friday before we could leave.  K6 was his pet peeve and really hammered us on oil residue, the A1 barometer, left over teflon tape, etc.  Anyway, I noticed a distinct similarity between mercury spill bubbles and solder blobs.  I made some really smooth, quarter inch solder blobs and cleaned them with alcohol to a mirror shine.  Chuck Grethal, a SrA, decided we'd leave them all over the A1 barometer for the Chief to find.  Luckily, he head a good heart, physically and humor-ly, and had a good laugh when Chuck picked up the pieces of faux mercury with his finger tips.

After this, he was alot easier on K6 and understood it gets a little messy.

I remember Chuck Grethal...  His room was across from mine in the 86 CRS squadron dormitory.  One night in the dorm, the stereos were going, and coincidentally, him and I were both playing "The Wall" by Pink Floyd.  Through the marvels of technology ("Ready, Doc?  1, 2, 3, GO!") we synched the CD players and cranked up the Cerwin Vega speakers, until we had "Comfortably Numb" reverberating all 4 floors in a rather satisfying way...

Erik Winkler once rigged up a signal generator in K3 with a tape deck and a power amplifier, making radio PMEL a reality, in FM stereo!  Just tune your radio in any section of the lab to the right frequency, and you got whatever Erik was playing at the time...  Andy Raef (lab chief) called back on the intercom one day to ask them to turn the music down, and Erik replied "Speak up!  We can't hear you because the music is too loud!"  First time I ever saw a master sergeant turn red...

Then there was Garth Alexander, a great K1 troop.  He was a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism (think Rennaisance Festival).  He was making, I kid you not, a suit of armor that he was going to wear in a combat at some upcoming gathering of the SCA.  I'm going to bed around 11 one night when, from next door, I hear "Tink, tink, tink..."  This went on for quite a while until, exasperated, I knocked on his door to find out just what in hell he was doing.  Right there, in the middle of his room, was an anvil and everything else you need for blacksmithing armor...  There he stood, hammer in hand and grinning sheepishly, apologizing for keeping me up at night while he hammered a sheet of armor into submission...

I'd just like to say that when I was in Hell err Mtn Home Eric Winkler was an AFETS guy. I think thats right anyhow. He worked at Avionics. And yes he could explain things. I don't remember his answer for ssb phase noise but in the end I know it matters for F15 radar or f16 radar somehow. Didn't know much about the guy but did see him occasionally. Kinda looked like a hippy.

you ever hooked a frog up to about 15A? :mrgreen:

It has a wierd smell...Kinda like burnt popcorn :evil:

I have hooked up a large pickle to line voltage, makes a pickle light for about 10 seconds before it kinda droops/falls apart

Brent Richeson and I were on a QA Audit visit at a TFCU site at Kelly Barracks in Stuttgart.  We had finished our work in the morning, and decided on a Greek restaurant nearby for lunch.  Apparently, the owners were very supportive of our U.S. troops, and after eating a hearty meal, a round of ouzo was presented, on the house, to thank us for our service and patronage.  Another round followed.  And then another...  And one more...

Fully lubricated, and feeling no stress whatsoever, Brent and I boarded our truck for the 2-hour drive back to Ramstein, laughing good-naturedly all the way home...

It was common practice at Ramstein to initiate the new techs in 'scopes by way of a 2" magnet- they would normally get the scope set up, turn it on to warm up, and then go get a coffee.  While away, we would pop the top cover, place a magnet on the side of the CRT (sucking all the rays to a bright spot on the screen), and then replace the cover.  The tech would return, say something along the lines of "WTF!" and go get the T.O. to start adjustments.  While away, we would pop the cover, remove the magnet, and replace the cover.  They would return with the T.O., say something along the lines of "WTF!" and spend a few hours making sure the "intermittent" malfunction really wasn't there anymore...  QA would come back with their calibrated scope for a QVI, while the tech sweated profusely, with MSgt Claude Pitre (scopes supervisor) standing behind them with a grin on his face...

DocByers, we must know each other because our Ramstein tours had to overlap but I can place your name with a face.  What is your first name?  Larry Hunt here.  I lived in the 86 CRS dorms TWICE with the Einsidlerhof dorms being a short stop while they got renovated.  This is where Garth Alexander came when he arrived and had the Chuck Grethal "butt headbutt" as an initiation.  As usual, there was much drinking by PMEL troops on a Friday night.  Somehow, some discussion took place that caused Chuck to threaten to force Garth to kiss his ass.  Garth, not knowing to what level Chuck could quickly go, pointed to his face from his sitting on the floor position and said something to the effect, "Right here man."  In seconds, Chuck dropped his pants and planted his butt into Garth's face bumping his head against the wall locker.

funny gag #2:  Another "WTF" story:  While watching one of my SrA (Mark Rund) at Grissom using a 7000 series scope, I proceeded to adjust the DC level on a 3325A whose output had somehow got attached to the Z-axis input on the back of the scope.  When it dimmed to a point he noticed, he slapped the side and I removed the voltage at the same time bringing the display "back to life".  After a few more minutes, I reperfomed the flakey scope gag to the same result. Unable to restrain my laughter much longer, I set the 3325 to a 5 minute or so sawtooth and left K3.  This gave him a really slow dimming display and at 5 minutes, a sudden return to normal.  He was a pretty quick troop though and he found the mysterious BNC cable on the first check of looking over the whole unit.
IPF material (Ignorant Personnel File):  The names will not be released to protect the guilty. 
IP: K3 technician.  Equipment: 400EL AC Voltmeter, Problem: Will not read DCV, Steps: 4 hours of troubleshooting to find the DC signal stops at the SERIES capacitor in the front end.  DUH!

Larry,
I vaguely remember you you, as you left around mid '85 after I got there, so we didn't get to know each other well at all.  I think you were working K3 with Grovhoug, Winkler, and Bobby Long; I was doing nights in K1 when I was first there...

Quote from: docbyers on 12-21-2005 -- 10:57:11
It was common practice at Ramstein to initiate the new techs in 'scopes by way of a 2" magnet- they would normally get the scope set up, turn it on to warm up, and then go get a coffee.  While away, we would pop the top cover, place a magnet on the side of the CRT (sucking all the rays to a bright spot on the screen), and then replace the cover.  The tech would return, say something along the lines of "WTF!" and go get the T.O. to start adjustments.  While away, we would pop the cover, remove the magnet, and replace the cover.  They would return with the T.O., say something along the lines of "WTF!" and spend a few hours making sure the "intermittent" malfunction really wasn't there anymore...  QA would come back with their calibrated scope for a QVI, while the tech sweated profusely, with MSgt Claude Pitre (scopes supervisor) standing behind them with a grin on his face...

Lucky for me the scope jockies at Luke never got me with that one. I was smart enough to check out the unit before I started adjusting it.  :roll: But it was good for a lot laughs at Agilent. :mrgreen:

Shorting the fuse was a sure-fire troubleshooting method (no pun intended).  Short the fuse, wait for the faulty component to overheat and release its smoke (all those high tech components like diodes, resistors, amplifiers, capacitors- they're all filled with smoke.  When you let the smoke out of them, they don't work anymore!)...  Replace the faulty component, install fuse as per normal, turn on unit, and calibrate when ready...

Then there was a time at Ramstein when one of my new K8 pingers was calibrating a Fluke DCV standard, and the trim-pot on the 10V range would not adjust sufficiently to bring the unit into tolerance.  The replacement trim pot was unavailable according to the fische.  What to do?  Well, turns out the pot was a 50 ohm model, so I instructed my young tech to remove the trimpot and solder a new 5% 50 ohm carbon resistor in its place.  That done, we fired up the unit, checked the output voltage- too high.  OK.  Turn everything off, unplug it, and take a fine file and shave off just a bit of that new 50 ohm resistor.  That done, we fired up the unit, checked the output voltage- a little high.  Everything off, file some more, try it again.  Perfect?  Fine.  Now, start the entire calibration procedure over from start to finish.

The unit left without a redline on the tag, still with an "adjustable" 50 ohm resistor...  I don't know if I followed the rules to the letter, but the unit worked great and the customer had their equipment back in a short time, so I guess it all worked out...

When I was in school in Denver, my neighbor in the squadron dormitory, Jim, had done something to irritate a fellow A-shifter, so that when Jim left to go home for Christmas, a couple containers of Johnson's Baby Powder were procurred, along with a hair dryer.  The hair dryer was turned on and aimed at the half-inch space between the bottom of his room door and the floor; baby powder was dispensed, it's flow dispersed by the warm air filling Jim's room...

Jim returned from a fine Christmas vacation, only to find his room had been turned into what appeared at first glance to be a veritable winter wonderland...

No, I honestly do not remember the name of the perpetrator of that little joke, but I do remember Jim's reaction...!

While stationed at F.E. Warren AFB in Wyoming, I had occasion to insert time into offsite missile facilities; carrying my portable Austron 1210D-03, I'd chopper out to a site, climb down the ladder, do my thing, and chopper back to Chyoming...

On one trip, we're out in western Nebraska, summertime, and I'm down in the hole.  Now, it was common practice that the SP's who provided site security would buy "civilian" M16 ammo at the local gun shops in town, complete with magazines.  As ammo was issued from the Armory, they would store the gov't. shells in a web case on their belt, but load their weapons with the civilian ammo they got downtown.

So, I'm in the hole having a grand time, when gunfire is distinctly heard above.  The captain and 1st Lt. I'm with both have their pistols out, safety's off, while I stand there with a cesium clock and a tool bag...  The "ALL CLEAR" is called down from above, whereupon I climb the ladder for the trip home.  The cause of the gunfire is clear: an SP is holding up one dead rabbit, who had apparently tried to infiltrate our chain-link enclosure, much to his demise...

OK, a chuckle and a chopper ride home, and it's time for evening chow.  I head for the chow hall with the PMEL crew, and what's the feature for tonight's menu?  You guessed it- RABBIT!

Stress relief was found later as per the SAC Manual- tobacco and Scotch, taken in combination, and accompanied by music of your liking, will burn off the tension of your day...  Sing with me now the SAC theme song: "One step forward, two steps back, **** around, **** around, we're in SAC!"

...and remember, "a suck for SAC is a blow for freedom!"  That's about as good as our Marine war cries got...

Man, you sure lead quite the PMEL life there doc.  I can't even think of one mildy amusing story for this thread...  :-(

OK, one more story and then I'll quit...

We had a lab Christmas party every year at F.E. Warren AFB, WY, and in '83 we're all at MSgt Ron Roe's house having a grand time, when Jerry Long pulls out a homemade "cigarette" made from cloves, which, when lit, gives off a unique and peculiar smell.  MSgt Crane, our branch chief, suspected something was amiss as this party favor was lit and passed around the circle of technicians standing in Ron's kitchen, everyone taking a puff, holding it in, and exhaling with a fake sigh of pleasure...  (It's interesting to know that MSgt Crane was a fine Mormon, and I suspect he had never smelled illegal flammable party favors, and therefore had no 'standard' to test his supposition against, which just flies in the face of standard metrology principles...)

The following Monday we were all hauled down to the Clinic for "random" urinalysis testing, which we of course passed with flying colors.  Not to be outdone, we were hauled to the clinic a second time for re-testing, which we naturally passed again.  MSgt Crane never did figure that out...

I agree with Hoopty. You have an interesting PMEL career, doc. Thanks for the entertainment. :-D

Thanks Doc....keep em up.

BTW did you know Fred Morecroft?????

No - that name doesn't ring any bells...  Did he know me?

Chief Maier at Ramstein was an old K8 troop, and when I was K8 Supervisor, he would quietly leave his office, wander back to K8, and go in to the "cage," our copper-encrusted "noise-proof" enclosure where we did the sensitive calibrations, and also where our K8 console was.  Chief would get in there and help a tech with whatever calibration they were working on.

Barbara, the German civilian lab secretary, would wander back after a while looking for the Chief.  Chuck Kulpa (K1 Supervisor) and I would block her way back to the cage, all the while saying "No, we haven't seen the Chief.  Have you tried QA?  Maybe Scheduling?  Did he go to lunch?"  Barbara knew damned good and well where the Chief was, but would just smile and thank us.  "Have him give me a call if you see him..."

After a while the Chief would head back to his duties.  The guy never forgot about life on the bench, and liked to keep his hand in the game every now and then.  He still had his K-stamp, and would actually turn some production every so often just to stay sharp.  He was a good example of what a good manager is- he cared about the troops, took care of them when needed, and never forgot how life was in the trenches.  He taught, mentored, joked, and made damned sure your ducks were in a row.  His door was always open, and a beer or two after hours was just fine with him.  Not a bad example to follow...

I didn't know your Chief, but Barbara was still thre when i PCS'd in 99.

Ah...I miss doc's stories. :cry:

For you, Thraxas, by request...

At Ramstein, each section took turns cleaning up the breakroom, usually for a week at a time, I think.  The T.O. Library was not too far from the break room, and The TSgt that worked as TODO was named "Mac," Doug MacArthur, or something like that.  Well, Mac had a white coffee cup- on the outside, anyway.  INSIDE the cup is was very dark, very brown, the result of YEARS of coffee drinking.  He joked that if we ever ran out of coffee, he could just fill his "cup with hot water, give it a good stir, and Voila!"

Me being of German descent, a fastidious bastard and neat freak, I thought it would be a funny joke if I cleaned his coffee cup, inside and out, and left it on his desk.  ...and so I did.  I spent a good hour with a Brillo pad and some triclorofluoroethane, and scrubbed that baby 'til it gleamed like a fresh snowfall...  I set it on his desk, and he found it later...

He also found me later, and ripped me a new one up one side and down the other, and explained in no uncertain terms that a coffee cup was personal property, very private, and I should just leave his alone.  There were a few expletives inserted in there along the way, as I recall...

I apologized profusely, and spent quite a few months getting him black coffee to make amends.  I think he forgave me, but that was one joke I never played again!

Ever tried to kill a cockroach by taking him down to 2000 feet of sea water in the pressure chamber and then venting it to atmosphere reallly fast? We often tested small creatures to see what would happen and you know those darn things always lived. The geko's never survived.

Frogs never made it....never :evil:

Quote from: docbyers on 04-06-2006 -- 08:16:42
For you, Thraxas, by request...

Thanks, doc. :-)

Was working in the shop one day and some one was calibrating a knc 3666, well they had just changed a transducer and all the sudden the small plastic hose blew off! The little swagelock nut and ferrel flew clear cross the room and hit the guy standing next to me right in the groin!! Awesome shot!

cs137, We tried the samething at NSSF Groton, CT. We also put the cockroach below 29 inHg vacuum. Now that's a site. After all that it didn't kill him. Liquid Nitrogen ended his life...

One more for Thraxas...

It's summertime in Cheyenne, Wyoming , 1984, and the PMEL crew at F.E. Warren AFB are outside having fun.  John Hepler and Tim Schwantes both own older-model Ford Broncos, and they are very competitive- one gets a 4" lift kit, the other gets a 5" lift kit.  John's is blue, Tim's is orange, and they have the big tires, winches on the bumpers, the whole works...

The base there had what we euphemistically called the "base lakes."  They were really a couple of good-sized ponds, not very deep, and a good place to swim.  Hepler gets a wild hair one day and decides to drive his Bronco across the lake.  Greg Grimmius and I are on the shore, beer in hand, grinning profusely, because you don't have to be a psychic to predict what's going to happen...

John is doing well, motoring slowly across the lake, until, pretty much dead center, he's standing on his seat because there's about 6" of water above his floorboards.  The Bronco is slowly idling it's way across, right up to the point that the water level exceeded the top of the distributor cap.  Distribution stopped in quite a hurry at that point.  The watchers on the shore are laughing hysterically...

...and we did what any good friend would do in this situation; we called Hepler's 4X4 rival to come winch his sorry butt out of the lake.  Schwantes shows up, grinning ear to ear, and wades the winch cable out to Hepler's dead Bronco, and proceeds to pull him out of the water.

John spent quite some time living this incident down...!

**Bump**

I'll have to wait until I seperate to share some of my stories...  Loved reading this old thread, though, and thought 5 years later some of you might have more good ones.

In the summer of '75, I was stationed at McChord AFB. We had a squadron softball game, and the game was accompanied by 2 or 3 kegs of beer for refreshment, of which copious amounts were consumed by all. Not a sports guy myself, I stopped by to watch the game, riding up on my new Honda Gold Wing motorcycle, just introduced. Well, the game ended and the squadron commander comes over to check out my motorcycle. (Keep in mind that horizontally opposed four cylinder, water-cooled, shaft drive motorcycles were unheard of at this time.) Inevitably, the commander asks to go for a ride (on the back). Both of us 'under the influence,' I decided that I should oblige him and carefully, in compliance with posted speed limits, proceed with the commander on the back. After a bit, he hollers over my shoulder and says, "Open this thing up!" In a momentary lapse of reason and good sense, I headed to the perimeter road on the back side of the runway and proceed to crank it up to about 100 mph or so with the old man screaming 'Yippee!' and 'Yahoo!' from the back. Fortunately, good fortune smiled upon me, and not only did nothing happen because of it, but the squadron commander politely failed to acknowledge the incident thereafter... probably the best for both of us!

One more...

While at McChord, I had the opportunity to work in several areas of the PMEL. One night (we had a scant swing shift crew in those days), I was working on some sort of NavAids test set (the model number escapes me) that required 110 V, 60 Hz, 110 V, 400 Hz, and 28 VDC all to be connected simultaneously with the covers removed, exposing the internals. I left for lunch break and came back afterwards to pick up where I left off. I started to proceed through the 33K when all of a sudden smoke started pouring out of the unit. Being a new troop, I started jerking all of the power connections out as fast as I could, hoping to minimize the damage. Subsequently, I stepped out to the break room to have a smoke and calm down where I ran into TSgt. Jim Howes, laughing profusely. Once he regained his composure, he showed me how, while I was out to lunch, he ran some small diameter tubing into the lab from outside, and when I returned, lit up a smoke himself and started blowing through the tubing. In my naiveté, I didn't notice that the smoke smelled like cigarettes, only that I was somehow 'burning up' a piece of mission critical equipment. Howes wouldn't let me live that down for a long time...

One of my proudest and most idiotic moments happened a few years ago while i was stationed out in Oki. Our shelters that we use when we deploy all had the same electrical error in them and all of the staff had given up on trying to troubleshoot them. Well i was in a tad of trouble at the time so this was a perfect way for me to avoid the people in the company office, be productive in my own space and give me a nice large project to work on. While trying to test a relay with a multimeter i was reaching much further then i should of been. Another problem is the system runs on 3-phase power and was live so i could trace the problem backwards. So with my left shoulder on the breaker (i didn't know this until it was too late) i reached forward until i completed the circuit with my throat. With everything white and my body locked, for an unknown amount of time my back finally twitched enough and i was freed. Best part is it jump started my brain, i was described as running around like an intelligent like crack head. One of my guys saw me using 3 highlights with one hand, talking abnormally fast and actually making sense. Through this i actually managed to figure out the problem as well as create a new personal level of electrocution. I was only privy to getting zapped, shocked, electrocuted and the new one electro-****ing-cuted.

I notice that most of the stories about playing "pranks" on people seem to have occurred in the Air Force. We were to busy actually working in the Marines to waste time pulling pranks on each other... :evil:

some pranks doesn't take any time, my favorite is one time a tech took a scope apart and when he put it back together he had two screws left that he forgot where they went. we give him hell for days about that. so a few weeks later he was taking another scope apart and we drop a couple of spare screws on his bench to mess with him again...  some how he manage to put ALL the screws on the scope, including the extras that we put on his bench....

That is rough.  I remember years ago taking an HP 414T pretty much completely apart (all the chassis in pieces with at least dozens of screws).  I put it all back together and had a few left over.  One of my co-workers said that you weren't a real man unless you had screws left over on a job like that.  Words of "wisdom."

LOL  so you have to screw up a lot to be a good PMEL tech.  LOL

1999, Keesler AFB, Day 1, EP - The chief (Mr Brown I believe), during his welcome to PMEL and EP speech, asked "How often should a good airman need to be told to get a haircut?"

Well, this young Army PVT (me) raised his hand, "Sir, it's a trick question. There is no such thing as a good airman!" The look on his face, and our instructor's (who was an Army SSG) was PRICELESS!

now that is pretty funny!!!!

To this day, I still can't believe I said that and got away with it. And with a straight face too! Lucky for me, the class was mostly PMEL and had a great sense of humor (we were seriously outnumbered, some odd 20 airmen to 5 of us soldiers)!

To modify my previous posting, I put "an HP 414T "(no such thing - nobody caught me on that).  It should have read, "an HP 141T."

A 141T? Dang, you ARE old!

Quote from: metrologygeek on 08-28-2013 -- 14:33:08
A 141T? Dang, you ARE old!

Shhh...humor him...respect your elders....olders...ancient something something...

I just figured out that was about me.....  The 141T was a good solid mainframe.  When packed with an 8552A IF section and 855x series RF section, it did quite nicely.  I guess I'd better not mention the HP 8640B either then???  Or a Tektronix 545 oscilloscope mainframe???

A buddy of mine used to heat his studio apartment with a TEK 545 he bought from surplus then fixed.