I have been around more than a few years. I was wondering. What is the silliest most anal thing you have had to calibrate or certify? For example, toilet seat width or your boses ego, one and the same, lol I am sure you all got some doozies
A few years back, I was paid to measure and iron bar. It was rusty and corroded and non-moveable. The thing was nasty, but they wanted me to measure its' length. After celaning the ends off, it turned out to be 82.5" Long. that is all they wanted to know.
Oh yeah, it did not get a sticker, it just got measured.
I am going to say 4 little plastic cubes. They use them to hold up some instrument while they put it together. Have to be exactly 1 inch because that is what the procedure says. and yes they get stickers.
Well, we occasionally get in el-cheapo meters (we're talking $5-$10 2-1/2 digit DMMs, and stopwatches that look like toys), but we go ahead and calibrate them anyway, and charge 'em an hour's labor.
But the silliest thing wasn't what we calibrated, but what I found in it and where it came from. After finding a laminar flowmeter out of tolerance, I proceeded to clean out the passages and flushed out bits of rubber from inside the unit. Come to find out the customer that sent it to us was a condom manufacturer...
We actually had a block of wood once...scheduled it in initial cal and assigned it to an Airman to calibrate for length, width and height...
He gave it a good college try...but couldn't get repeatable readings...
okay, how about a bucket. Yes a bucket.
This is a LITTLE different, but...
In a previous job many years ago (working for a third party company I have no respect for), I wrote a documented calibration procedure I believe for an HP 4145A Semiconductor Analyzer. I added a totally ludicrous paragraph which was utter nonsense. Sandwiched between steps which measured low currents (or something like that), I described some bogus connections and instructed the technician to measure dBJ (decibels relative to the standard Johnson). The Johnson is a unit of thermal noise.
It was funny to me at the time as it was approved and made it into the document control system that way; and may still be today.
While working in the medical device manufacturing (in-house) environment, please keep in mind that "we" have our fair share of over-zealous, anal-retentive, under-informed, quality engineers and quality auditors to deal with. . . We were "discussing" the recent revision to a sweeping internal document which "required any graduated measurement device, utilized to make any measurement decisions, to be calibrated with traceability,to NIST". I wanted to have some fun with this. I submitted that all of the clocks in our manufacturing facility needed to be calibrated or identified as "For Reference Only". The Senior QE's & QA's ate it up - then took it to corporate as a continuous improvement suggestion. . . As usual, the Senior QE's adopted it as their own project and committed a team of process engineers to design a proposal for conformance. Two months into the fiasco, they came back to the Metrology Lab and asked for our input. We simply told them that time is relative - and calibrating wall clocks was a waste of time - unless we could synchronize all of the devices together and place them on a specified interval for re-certification. The project was spinning its wheels for an additional two months before they finally gave up. I believe that it finally hit a wall when the Site Director (VP) realized he would either have to remove his Grandfather clock from his office or place a Ref Only sticker in a conspicuous area on its face. . . :-o My manager and I (had a good laugh) then suggested that all of the Personal Computer clocks could also be synchronized but that that process must be validated. The IT department never responded to the suggestion. :evil: The aforementioned internal document - has been under revision ever since - and that was 2004! :-D Needless to say, I went through about 200+ Ref Only labels and need to replace at least one - every month.
Quote from: flew-da-coup link=topic=1087. msg11408#msg11408 date=1217005776
okay, how about a bucket. Yes a bucket.
LOL - that's sweet.
Was there a hole in the bucket? Did you revise your procedure to include the specific model?
Has anyone else measured the exact weight of the Boy Scout pine derby cars? We usually have an analytical balance set-up in the springtime just for them. So far, only one Dad actually wanted a calibration label included in the measurement.
Quote from: KnobTwistinFool on 07-27-2008 -- 13:56:31
Quote from: flew-da-coup link=topic=1087. msg11408#msg11408 date=1217005776
okay, how about a bucket. Yes a bucket.
LOL - that's sweet.
Was there a hole in the bucket? Did you revise your procedure to include the specific model?
I ended up using a generic Mass procedure. I put a liter of distilled water in it and weighed it. It was accepted by the customer. LOL.
Some people How about a 100 PSI gage to ±50PSI
I had to measure lunch boxes one time.
Quote from: KnobTwistinFool on 07-27-2008 -- 14:02:06
Has anyone else measured the exact weight of the Boy Scout pine derby cars? We usually have an analytical balance set-up in the springtime just for them. So far, only one Dad actually wanted a calibration label included in the measurement.
I had to do that..... I actually did it in a hobby shop. The owner paid me $20/hr to just be in the shop for a few days just so that they could prove the measurements were valid. They are pretty anal about the derby races around here...
Quote from: skolito on 07-28-2008 -- 07:39:19
Some people How about a 100 PSI gage to ±50PSI
LOL, are you for real!!!! :-o
Quote from: skolito on 07-28-2008 -- 07:39:19
Some people How about a 100 PSI gage to ±50PSI
Well hey, I QA'd an ohmeter that was cal'd to "+/- 2% of FS"
...full scale was infinity!!
Quote from: Mike on 07-29-2008 -- 02:46:01
Quote from: skolito on 07-28-2008 -- 07:39:19
Some people How about a 100 PSI gage to ±50PSI
Well hey, I QA'd an ohmeter that was cal'd to "+/- 2% of FS"
...full scale was infinity!!
But was it within tolerance.........and what is +2% of infinity
Quote from: MIRCS on 07-29-2008 -- 05:38:29
But was it within tolerance.........and what is +2% of infinity
Well MIRCS... +2% of Infinity, for you, is
(http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n140/lronhoover4/stuff/m3112_large_color.jpg)
:-o :-D :-o
Don't know if this is silly or just weird.
I had to calibrate a bread loaf hight gage for large bakery in central Florida. Also had to cal the device that removes those oversize loaves off the conveyor belt before they are wrapped.
This is a funny thread. I had a good laugh, also have done soap box thingie, and when working in the civilian world calibrated cooking timers, and plain ol tape measures. (the company said it had to be done for iso cert. ) We charged $25 to check the timers against our calibrated stop watch, which we timed against a 5245L
One word - Wavetek.
When I was in the Air Force we used to calibrate the Wavetek 110 to: ±Indication.
A number of years ago I had to certify a 50 foot long piece of RG58 cable. It was for an ISO9001 company that sold such cable by the foot. This was their periodic inspection artifact for the length counter machine.
The most extreme calibration I've ever done (I thought it was pretty cool, anyway) was a 60,000 Amp circuit breaker test set. I did it in a nuclear power plant with one of their QA people sitting and watching every step. And guys wearing what looked about like SWAT team outfits and automatic weapons checked my vehicle on the way in.
As I recall, there was a piece of cable I don't know, maybe 3 - 4 inches in diameter and maybe10 - 15 feet long that I had to bolt down to the two huge metal (copper?) plates. I ran that cable through an 800:5 current transformer, connected the output of that to an Empro shunt, and connected the mV out of that to an HP 34401A DMM. I just thought it was pretty cool.
What's the highest current anyone here has checked, or highest voltage?
25 kV on a pass tube for a water cooled TWT on a SATCOM transmitter..
Most RF measured, 56 kW at 8.5 GHz..that same TWT and a klystron transmitter in combined mode..and everything was water cooled, even the 100 dB directional coupler..
Just loved the '70's
Mike
My lab routinely tests bucket trucks used by power companies to 125 kV. (And we calibrate the bucket truck tester ourselves).
That reminds me, when i worked for a private lick and stick outfit, we calibrated the current out of a electric welder. I had to show the site manager how to do this with a known resister and a digital multimeter
When I worked for a private firm in New Jersey we calibrated plastic dowels for a toy manufacture. They were used to simulate a childs throat. Also calibrated soldering irons. So really odd stuff out there we do.
When I was stationed at Holloman AFB NM, a flight line test set came in. The function switch had maybe 12 different settings, the write up on the tag read"does not work in the OFF position". I tested it and sure enough they were right. I calibrate solder pots where I work now. Go figure.
Currently calibrate solder irons where I work
Verified a block of wood as it was a go / no-go gage for baby cribs. Slats between crib get too wide, a babys' head can get stuck.
All time favorite - Urinal in mens restroom. It said 1. 0 gallons per flush. I convinced the guy to pay in excess of $400 to have it verified this. And yes. . . it got a sticker. My boss at the time (I DO NOT WORK THERE NOW!!) bought me a case of beer for my "commitment" to the company.
Quote from: Brimsar on 07-27-2009 -- 11:37:27
Currently calibrate solder irons where I work
Verified a block of wood as it was a go / no-go gage for baby cribs. Slats between crib get too wide, a babys' head can get stuck.
All time favorite - Urinal in mens restroom. It said 1. 0 gallons per flush. I convinced the guy to pay in excess of $400 to have it verified this. And yes. . . it got a sticker. My boss at the time (I DO NOT WORK THERE NOW!!) bought me a case of beer for my "commitment" to the company.
They guy probably figured it was worth it to watch you play in the pee soaked urinal and that why he paid $400.
Quote from: USMCPMEL link=topic=1087. msg13615#msg13615 date=1248722265
Quote from: Brimsar link=topic=1087. msg13614#msg13614 date=1248712647
Currently calibrate solder irons where I work
Verified a block of wood as it was a go / no-go gage for baby cribs. Slats between crib get too wide, a babys' head can get stuck.
All time favorite - Urinal in mens restroom. It said 1. 0 gallons per flush. I convinced the guy to pay in excess of $400 to have it verified this. And yes. . . it got a sticker. My boss at the time (I DO NOT WORK THERE NOW!!) bought me a case of beer for my "commitment" to the company.
They guy probably figured it was worth it to watch you play in the pee soaked urinal and that why he paid $400.
LOL maybe. Lucky for me, removing the pipes
beneath the urinal meant not having to touch the urinal. Other than that. . . big bucket, tared out on a scale, divide by specific gravity = beer.